squirrly
nothing to do with squirrly, except that i just heard someone use that
word. it’s a word i associate with turds, and sarah jessica parker.
squirrly turds. girly, squirrly.
i went to the park today to write, to deal with a story i’ve had in mind
for a while, and which i started a few weeks ago. it’s not going to be too
long, the story, but it might have some zip to it. it includes Keri,
which I didn’t anticipate, but it’s all good. i hope the story sounds
good, because it’s a radio type of thing, not a printed matter.
i was not at the park too long. it felt nice out there, though, the
autumnal breezes and the overgrown grasses swaying like a choir of
John Cage-ian silence that can not contain itself and must make sound.
i was at the wedding of two friends on saturday. i triumphed with my tie.
about a month ago i asked the groom-to-be “is this gonna be a formal
wedding?” to which he responded “just so you don’t wear one of your Snoopy
t-shirts you’ll be fine.” (i wear a lot of Charlie Brown and
Peanuts-themed t-shirts).
so i special ordered a Charlie Brown tie, a fine silk creation, which
turned out to be an excellent conversation piece as the night spent mostly
among strangers evolved. i was about 98% certain that the groom would
remember our conversation, and see that the tie was my answer to his
instruction not to wear a Snoopy t-shirt. but that lingering 2%
uncertainty hovered until he saw me, saw the tie, and immediately smiled.
it was nice.
i feel like a clown wearing a tie, or even a jacket. walking over to the
wedding i hoped against all hope that no one I knew would see me. i used
to wear ties and jackets all the time but nowadays it’s more like i’m
getting naked than getting clothed. the sense of conspicuity was
insufferable, but i took some comfort in knowing that a man walking down
the street in a suit and tie is not cause for alarm, or even a second
look. heck, i even saw other men on the street, wearing suits and ties! i
fit right in…
and i once again experienced that passing sense of narcolepsy that always
occurs when i tighten a tie around my neck. i wouldn’t go so far as to
compare it to a noose, but when i put this tie on on Saturday i felt that
old familiar sensation of wanting to go to sleep, and maybe even dying. i
used to get that same sensation of narcolepsy when the lights went down
at concert halls and the performer took the stage. I missed the first
moments of a Radu Lupu concert at Carnegie Hall on account of me passing
out, sound asleep, at the moment the lights went down and he took the
stage. i woke up feeling like hours had passed.
the wedding itself was lovely. i happen to be a strong advocate of lack of
responsibility (which is not the same as irresponsibility) and on account
of that I think that marriages should not happen, but i do not begrudge
anyone else’s choice to enter into that exorbitantly priced and
lawyered-up institution. i mostly felt lost in the maelstrom of strangers
and family, and i took leave of the place when everyone started getting
drunk, or at least drunker than I, which was not so drunk, though the gin
and tonics did provide a more efficient route to drunkardry than beer. and
i find that as i grow older i am all about *efficiency* in pursuit of
intoxication.
people kept asking me how I knew the two people getting married. i
said “i’m a friend from the neighborhood.” the back story is that the
groom first introduced himself to me by standing up in a bar and pointing
at me yelling “I THINK YOU’RE SORABJI!” i think i already told that story
here…
oops, gotta go.
