busy
as busy as i keep myself the last many weeks i find it hard to explain just what, precisely, i do with my days. much of it is exploratory, in the spirit of 2 minutes of content used for every 20 minutes recorded, referring to audio/visual content. much of it falls into the lessons-learned category. as a college sprig i expected to pursue a career in radio, but all attempts to enter that profession failed, and i think this is a good thing. i would have hated commercial or broadcast radio, and by now i would have burned out hard, a withering mass of char and fumes. the advantage to that type of work might have been a better understanding of the techniques of sound reproduction, but this may not be a field like music, where technique is everything. i have discovered these last few weeks that i never wanted to broadcast radio. i never wanted that. spin records, twirl CDs, discuss the music. it is a tried-and-true formula that has worked for generations but i never wanted to do that. i did not even want to do time-based radio. i wanted to do sound. abstract mental objects. sound, like scent, is not reproducible. recordings can capture noise but the real stage for sound is the mind. no recording devices distinguish among sounds in the maelstrom, and i feel (for now) as if audio software is equally incapable of picking at sounds within sounds. once it‘s lost in the waveform, it‘s just part of the mass, distinguishable only in the spirit of crude counterpoint, which is lost. can you imagine a world without sound? can you? i don‘t mean deafness, or plugging your ears, for there you can feel vibrations and hear the pulsing of your head, the blood pumping into your skull. but imagine being alive without that. with silence. not even a vacuum, not even a void, as these states suggest that sound exists, but is absent from a given space. no, imagine that sound absolutely does not exist. vibration does not exist. turning out the lights in a room one would find themself in an unnavigable emptiness. i imagine lately that the sounds of a society are among the only elements that are wholly unrecoverable, constantly hurtling into oblivion. so, i never wanted to do radio, but radiophony. sound. the mental stage in which i can be invisible, just like i always wanted. sound is solitude
